（內(nèi)容來(lái)源“國(guó)際科學(xué)編輯、科研小助手?”←?關(guān)注它）

審稿人什么的最令人討厭了！花費(fèi)數(shù)以周記甚至數(shù)以月計(jì)的時(shí)間，終于把論文寫(xiě)到自己覺(jué)得完美無(wú)缺，滿(mǎn)懷希望把論文投遞出去。你心想發(fā)表論文的過(guò)程肯定會(huì)非常輕松，仿佛看到自己的論文印成鉛字在你眼前，別做夢(mèng)了！

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審稿人會(huì)讓你感到絕望甚至想自殺的，當(dāng)然，如果他們心情好的話(huà)，可能只需要你回到電腦前做一下修改。說(shuō)真的，審稿人提出的那些無(wú)關(guān)緊要，毫無(wú)意義的問(wèn)題和評(píng)論到底有什么用？

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審稿人跟你的溝通要么熱情誠(chéng)懇，要么鄭重其事，但是審稿人與期刊編輯之間的溝通就隨意多了。你知道審稿人在背著你說(shuō)你的哪些壞話(huà)嗎？請(qǐng)往下看。

從2001年至2011年，《Environmental Microbiology》每年都會(huì)發(fā)布一份審稿意見(jiàn)集錦，讓人在嚴(yán)肅、認(rèn)真的學(xué)術(shù)研究之余體會(huì)下審稿人的幽默與詼諧，這些審稿意見(jiàn)有的讓人開(kāi)懷大笑，有的讓人哭笑不得，下面列舉了小編最喜歡的幾條，讓大家見(jiàn)識(shí)一下什么叫史上最毒舌的最搞笑的審稿意見(jiàn)。

毒舌搞笑篇

1. Reject – More holes than my grandad’s string vest!

拒發(fā)。漏洞比我爺爺?shù)木W(wǎng)眼背心上的網(wǎng)眼還多！

2. “Done! Difficult task, I don’t wish to think about constipation and faecal flora during my holidays! But, once a referee, always and anywhere a referee; we are good boy scouts in the research wilderness. Even under the sun and near a wonderful beach.”
搞定了！太不容易了。我才不想裝著一腦子便秘和糞便菌落來(lái)度假。但是，一朝做了審稿人，永遠(yuǎn)都是審稿人，到哪兒都是審稿人。在科學(xué)研究的荒漠中，我們是勇敢的童子軍。即使在灑滿(mǎn)陽(yáng)光的沙灘上也是。哼！

3. “This paper is desperate. Please reject it completely and then block the author’s email ID so they can’t use the online system in future.”
這篇論文爛到家了。請(qǐng)徹底拒稿，然后封了作者的賬號(hào)，免得他日后繼續(xù)投稿。

4. “The writing and data presentation are so bad that I had to leave work and go home early and then spend time to wonder what life is about.”
寫(xiě)作水平和數(shù)據(jù)展示讓我整個(gè)人都不好了，我不得不提前下班，早點(diǎn)回家，甚至開(kāi)始懷疑人生。

5. “The biggest problem with this manuscript, which has nearly sucked the will to live out of me, is the terrible writing style.”
這篇稿件的寫(xiě)作風(fēng)格太糟糕了，審得我都不想活了。

6. “The presentation is of a standard that I would reject from an undergraduate student.”
就算回到本科生時(shí)期，我都會(huì)拒掉這種水平的投稿。

7. “This paper is awfully written. There is no adequate objective and no reasonable conclusion. The literature is quoted at random and not in the context of argument. I have doubts about the methods and whether the effort of data gathering is sufficient to arrive at a useful conclusion.”
這篇論文寫(xiě)得太爛了。目的不明確，結(jié)論不合理。引文都是亂引的，跟正文的論證完全對(duì)不上號(hào)。我懷疑這樣的實(shí)驗(yàn)方法，也懷疑他們收集的數(shù)據(jù)不足以得出有效結(jié)論。

8. “Season’s Greetings! I apologise for my slow response but a roast goose prevented me from answering emails for a few days.”
節(jié)日快樂(lè)！回復(fù)慢了，真抱歉。有一只烤鵝妨礙我，讓我?guī)滋於紱](méi)顧得上回郵件。

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見(jiàn)識(shí)過(guò)了審稿人的毒舌和幽默，再來(lái)見(jiàn)識(shí)一下審稿人怎么夸人。但當(dāng)審稿人遇到非常棒的論文，也會(huì)給出衷心的好評(píng)。

好評(píng)點(diǎn)贊篇

1. “Very much enjoyed reading this one, and do not have any significant comments. Wish I had thought of this one.”
這篇論文讀起來(lái)簡(jiǎn)直是一種享受，沒(méi)有任何意見(jiàn)。這么好的點(diǎn)子我當(dāng)初怎么沒(méi)想到！

2. “There was little I could think of to improve this nice paper.”
這篇論文好得我都不知道要怎么改了。

3. “This is as solid a write up as I have seen, many spend much more time and space to say considerably less. It is a perfect example of a compact report.”
這是我見(jiàn)過(guò)的最確鑿的報(bào)告，許多人花更多時(shí)間精力寫(xiě)出來(lái)的比這個(gè)差多了。作為一篇翔實(shí)的報(bào)告，這是一個(gè)完美的例子。

4. “landmark paper on P. putida physiology.”
假單胞菌生理學(xué)研究的里程碑

5. “It is always a joy to review manuscripts such as this. Well conceived, well executed, well edited. Clean. Pristine. From start to finish.”
評(píng)審這樣的稿件是件人生樂(lè)事：構(gòu)思周詳，實(shí)施得當(dāng)，寫(xiě)得漂亮。干凈，純樸，從頭至尾。